I’m sort of “go with the flow” kinda girl. Each morning I wake up with a general idea of what’s happening, all with the understanding what’s happening might change before my feet hit the floor. For the most part I’m o.k. with it changing, as long as my “general” list of to-dos get accomplished at some point. Even though my calendar is not up to date, and I’m not prone to schedule every moment of the day, I still find security in knowing which direction I’m going.
The sentence catches my attention, “It is God who chooses to make our way known to us.”
The statement blows my whole “general direction” thing out of the water. And I can’t help but wonder… what would life be like without knowing what direction I’m going? I mean, I’m fine with a few wrong turns and taking the long way around as long as we get to the place I’m planning to go.
I read this week trusting God and having a relationship with Him is much like being in a river. The river is already flowing, and I am in it… whether I like it or not. Well honestly, I like it as long as it takes me the direction I want to go.
I guess I’m not as “go with the flow” as I thought I was. There are days I’m cranky because my list of things is longer than the minutes in the day and darn it, I’m determined to get it all done. Days when I look everywhere but into the eyes of the one standing next to me in line because I’m not up for a conversation. Days when I’m swimming against the current and gasping for air. The truth about myself isn’t pretty. I am most comfortable knowing where I’m headed.
And is it possible this needing to know is keeping me from knowing God more fully? The author of The Divine Dance puts it like this:
You just have to let go of whatever it is within you that is saying no to the flow, judging it as impossible, or of any shame that is keeping the Indwelling Spirit from guiding you, because guess what? Even your sins often become your best teachers. The Great Flow makes use of everything, absolutely everything. Even your mistakes will be used in your favor, if you allow them to be. That’s how good God is.–Richard Rohr
God is calling me to live each day on a “need to know” basis. Allowing my general direction compass to sink to the bottom of this River I’m in and be. Be confident in the fact He knows where I’m going and let that be enough.